Saturday, October 22, 2016

Halloween playlist #25 - Chupacabra Terror (2005)

What is a chupacabra? Well I'll give you a hint: it's not what's in this movie. Apparently the filmmakers are under the impression that the goat-sucking hound-like creature of Mexican folklore looks like a demented merman. But while it should have been funny watching a movie this bad, it really just kind of hurt. And I enjoy watching a lot of movies that most people say think are terrible.

Want an example of how bad this movie is? Here's a small dose of the attempted humor. "I'm sick of being given the mushroom treatment: being kept in the dark and covered in shit". Are you laughing yet? Yeah, that's not funny. Seriously, I don't even think I could make a joke that forced and unfunny, and I make forced unfunny jokes ALL DAY LONG. Most of all, though, this movie just suffers from being dull. It felt like I was watching all the boring parts of Jason Takes Manhattan, but with a fish guy instead of Kane Hodder. Oh, and Giancarlo Esposito is in this. You know, Gus Fring from Breaking Bad and Buggin' Out from Do The Right Thing. Poor guy. Thankfully he's had a good career after this, because this is the kind of crap that could've killed it.


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