Tuesday, February 28, 2017

200 Items Or Less: I Bury The Living (1958)

A few thoughts: This movie had me, it really did. I was totally invested and tense, awaiting a thrilling climax until...dammit. This is three-quarters of a really, really good horror thriller, but it sadly (and almost aggressively) dispenses of everything it was building up to in favor of an ending that makes very little sense when looked at closely, and betrays the entire previous hour of the film. That being said, it is still a solid movie with cool cinematography, minimal sets, and a great lead performance by Richard Boone who almost singlehandedly makes the movie work. The fairly simple set-up alows for the performance and character development to take central stage, which helps set this apart from the bigger, more fancy and exciting horror movies of its time. As long as you go into this movie knowing the ending will be a letdown, I could see most fans of '50s horror enjoying it. It's definitely a few steps ahead of a majority of b-movies of the time.

Sunday, February 26, 2017

200 Items Or Less: The Beyond (1981)

A few thoughts: I've never seen a Fulci movie that I really loved. I was holding out hope that this would be the one to break that, but I suppose it was unfair of me to expect so much. As it stands, this is still an enjoyable zombie movie with fun gore effects and one particular scene involving spiders that's very difficult to watch -- even to those who aren't terrified of spiders. There are some cool visuals and the standard Italian horror music ties everything together well. The acting is as stiff and poorly directed as you could expect from an Italian horror movie (try naming one that actually has good acting from all involved), but this isn't the kind of movie you watch for the Oscar-worthy performances. It's basically stylized schlock --and Fulci is a veritable schlockmeister. This is more clever than a majority of Romero zombie clones, but it's never creepy enough to stand up to the levels of actual Romero. I can't say it was great, but I enjoyed it.

Saturday, February 25, 2017

200 Items Or Less: Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)

A few thoughts: Arguably the oldest movie that's still generally considered one the worst of all-time, a disasterpiece of epic proportions, this film written, directed and produced by Edward D. Wood, Jr. still stands as one of the most inept and hilariously bad movies ever made. A gold standard in poor filmmaking decisions and bafflingly blunt and over-written '50s dialogue, everything about this movie screams "calculated failure". But Wood believed he was making worthwhile pictures, which makes it all the more endearing and humorous; filmmakers this inherently awful don't come by every day. This movie is legendary, and watching it again still makes for some great entertainment. The effects are as fake as you can get, the sets are obviously made from cardboard and spray paint, and none of the actors seem to have any clue how to deliver dialogue in a way that even comes close to appearing human -- especially not the human characters. It's a mad, muddled mess and I couldn't recommend it enough.

Friday, February 24, 2017

200 Items Or Less: Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes (1978)

A few thoughts: For some reason, everyone has heard of this movie yet few seem to have actually seen it. I find this to be an absolute tragedy as it stands as one of my favorite movies of the 1970s -- or even of all-time. Obviously going in you have to realize the movie isn't going to be entirely serious, nor is it going to be "good" in the general sense, but what it is is a pitch perfect satire and embodiment of the oh-so elusive so-bad-it's-good genre. Remarkably corny to say the least (both intentionally and due to obvious budget constraints), there is a genuine wit to this film that few satires of this variety seem to possess. Filled with off-the-wall humor and genre send-ups ranging from war movies and noir to musicals, there isn't a single joke left untold, with several more unexpectedly emerging from the rubble. It's impressive for its writing, not production value, and many of the jokes can be seen as pretty cheap, but there's a lot more to this movie than what you might expect. I find it hilarious even after a half-dozen viewings, and consider it a massively underrated b-movie.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

200 Items Or Less: Evil Dead 2 (1987)

A few thoughts: One of the most over-hyped, over-the-top, desperate movies of the 1980s, this cult sequel to the far superior original Evil Dead tries way too hard way too often, and winds up being pretty annoying and unfocused as a result. I can appreciate the effort put into this movie on the parts of everyone involved, but there's quite simply far too much going on in this movie for it to ever feel like any more than just a pile of half-baked nonsense. The makeup and practical effects are solid but lack the subdued, creepy charm of the original, and while Bruce Campbell gives it his all and transforms Ash into the iconic hero most people know him for, the level of self-awareness in his performance reaches critical mass and he no longer seems like an actual character anymore - just an extension of Campbell's own ego. It can be fun to watch in small doses, but it winds up becoming far too much and without much narrative focus, left me feeling surprisingly ambivalent.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

200 Items Or Less: The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004)

A few thoughts: Wes Anderson makes some of the most visually lovely, charming and funny movies around. And while I could argue that The Royal Tenenbaums, Fantastic Mr. Fox, or The Grand Budapest Hotel are my favorites, that would probably be a lie, as this is the movie I find the most consistent enjoyment out of and touches me the most on an emotional level. Bill Murray is perfect in the lead role, a generally unpleasant man who takes everything for granted, but there's a charm and vulnerability to him that makes it impossible not to enjoy watching him. The sets are fun, the use of stop-motion animation is magical, and the entire rest of the cast do an excellent job at making you care about them and get invested in their adventures. There's a sweet melancholy to this movie that makes for a difficult struggle between seriousness and wackiness, but Anderson exploits that line to great effect. It may not appeal to everyone, but to the rest of us there's nothing else that compares.

Top 10 Adventure Time episodes - Season 1

Alright, instead of bogging you all down with reviews I've already written, here is my top 10 favorite episodes of the first season of Adventure Time with just a plot description. If you want the reviews, just find them on my blog. I don't feel I need to explain myself further, so here we go.

'My Two Favorite People'
Episode 9

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

200 Items Or Less: It's Alive (1974)

A few thoughts: What a disappointment. Though I've never been a huge fan of The Stuff, I have a weird soft spot for Larry Cohen's low-budget films and the creativity that went into making them; God Told Me To is possibly one of the most ingenius horror films of the '70s. That being said, this movie - often considered one of his very best - was a bit of a mess. Never silly enough to be fun and never capable enough to be creepy, this movie flops around in that void like a dying fish, only ever watchable when the mutant baby briefly emerges. I admired its simplicity and hilarious creature design, but I feel Cohen dropped the ball in terms of story, characters, and any kind of emotional connectivity. I never cared about what was happening, and within the first half I found myself mentally checking out. When you're given no reason to give a crap about anything that's happening it's hard to be scared or invested in any way. But in the end, I didn't totally hate it just for the baby. That being said, I really hoped for more.

Top 5 Horror Movies of 1958

I've already made a top 10 for 1960 and 1959 (though I will be remaking them as top 5s, since I need to change a few things up with them), so why not jump into 1958? Not as great of a year for horror, I found it hard to even find enough interesting movies to want to make more than a top 5 here anyway, but don't let that fool you: the movies on this list are pretty awesome. Not a landmark year in the history of horror cinema, but the ones that stand out really *really* stand out. So let's get this list started, my top 5 favorite horror movies of 1958. But first...

Monday, February 20, 2017

200 Items Or Less: Invasion Of The Saucer-Men (1957)

A few thoughts: I love watching alien b-movies for how serious yet totally goofy they can be, which is why I have so much trouble with this one. Obviously a major influence on Tim Burton's Mars Attacks, the level of self-awareness here is beyond what you would expect from a movie of this era. While I can appreciate the attempt at making a semi-humorous sci-fi movie like this, what is sad missing here was the humor. I didn't laugh once, and found myself almost scowling at the bad jokes far more often than I was even mildly amused. The alien design is fun and suitably standard (just picture a 1950s alien, odds are it looks something like this), but I felt they were underutilized, as I barely had a chance to see them at all throughout the movie. Also, this is one of those rare instances where I feel the film would have been better suited in color as opposed to blsck and white, but that's just me. It's not a bad movie, I wasn't s just hoping for more laughs -- especially since it's supposed to be a comedy.

200 Items Or Less: Kiss Of The Vampire (1963)

A few thoughts: I've seen this referred to as one of the best non-Dracula, non-Frankenstein Hammer films, but I honestly wasn't very impressed. It felt like a very standard Dracula movie set-up, just with a considerable lack of Lee's daunting presence. There were aspects I enjoyed about it, particularly the elderly man who helps out the main protagonists in the third act, as well as the entire third act as a whole involving bats and a cult of vampires, but the journey there was fairly standard. As is always the case with Hammer horror, the sets, costumes, and lighting were pretty great, but it was the story that didn't really grab ahold of me. All-in-all, I definitely wouldn't consider this a bad movie, but of the 2 dozen (or so) Hammer films I've seen, this is among the weakest as far as I'm concerned. One of the only highlights is, again, watching a ton of bats fly around attacking people in one of the final scenes of the movie. That was at least entertaining. As a film overall, it's not good, not bad, mostly just bland and forgettable.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

200 Items Or Less: Creature From The Black Lagoon (1954)

A few thoughts: Often considered the last of the classic Universal monsters, this is a fairly standard monster movie that arrived at the perfect time to help usher in a new wave of creature features. Released the same year as the original Gojira, it's safe to say 1954 was a pretty important year for these kind of movies, and while I have never really loved this movie, its influence on horror can be seen from a mile away. With beautiful underwater cinematography and one hell of an awesome monstrous costume, a good deal of what makes this particular film so good comes from how relatively unique it was for movies of its time. Instead of just being an irradiated slug or a giant turkey or something, this creature is just an alternate man-like evolution and is in ways sympathetic, with the human characters trespassing on its territory leading it to feel threatened. It isn't an all-time horror classic in my eyes, but marks a significant turning point within the genre, and must be regarded as such. Also, it's worth looking into as an early inspiration for Jaws.

200 Items Or Less: RoboCop (1987)

A few thoughts: Oh yeah, it's time for RoboCop, one of the greatest action movies ever made. It's difficult for me to go from watching this to more modern action, because the amount of effort put into this movie is staggering. There's a kind of self-awareness to this movie that allows it to embrace its dark sense of humor, while it also stands as an incredible showcase for some of the most exciting and awesome shootouts in film history. I don't know about anyone else, but I miss blood in my action movies. Anymore, action movies seem to be rated R for language instead of for being filled with human bloodbags exploding when shot by gigantic guns -- and if there is blood, it's usually just CG. Lame. All practical effects in this movie are incredible, from RoboCop himself to the squibs, stop-motion robots, and special makeup thrown in that in once particular scene reminds me a lot of The Toxic Avenger. It's exciting, paced well, and never feels redundant. There's nothing here that could be improved upon. This is a perfect action movie.

Friday, February 17, 2017

Top 5 Horror Movies of 1932

In the history of film, very few years have brought us quite so many great horror movies as 1932. I can name several right off the top of my head that could easily go down as some of the greatest and/or most influential of their time that didn't even make the list, but that would sort of defeat the purpose of making this into a countdown with a dramatic reveal, now wouldn't it? I suppose the best thing I can do here is mention that this is very much a "me" list, which means you won't necessarily agree with everything on here. And I like it that way. It gives readers new things to look at, a fresh perspective, and hopefully helps people to find movies they might not have otherwise thought to give a second glance. So it should go without saying, this isn't my attempt at making an objective list, these are just the 5 that I consider the most enjoyable, effective, memorable, etc. And hopefully I'll be able to commit to making more of these lists in the future.

So here we go, let's do this countdown. My 5 favorite horror movies of 1932.

200 Items Or Less: Alien (1979)

A few thoughts: It feels like a cop-out, but I almost don't even want to write this review at all. Alien is one of the most well respected sci/fi and horror movies of all time, and my thoughts on it don't vary much from that label. The cast do a great job at feeling like actual people (unlike the over-simplified action sequel) trapped in a claustrophobic setting. Every character behaves as you might expect, which helps heighten the suspense. The setting and creature design is beyond terrific, with great special effects and a perfectly complementary musical score that adds to the tense atmosphere. I didn't initially enjoy this movie (don't ask me why, I was probably just being stupid), but every single rewatch since then has improved it in my eyes. This is a fantastic horror movie, an equally fantastic science fiction movie, and a total masterpiece of suspense. Easily one of the greatest monster movies ever made, and far superior to the sequel -- which I still enjoy, it's just much less interesting. Oh, and yes, this movie did inspire my website color design.

200 Items Or Less: Two-Lane Blacktop (1971)

A few thoughts: A slow, meandering road movie fairly similar in tone to Easy Rider, this is the kind of movie that feels like a genuine representation of a very specific time and place. The acting is largely understated and underwhelming, with the exception of Warren Oates, who brings a sort of used car salesman swagger to his role. A big-talking loudmouth of a man with nothing important to say, he makes for an interesting foil to the quieter competing gearhead played by singer-songwriter James Taylor. There's an admirable simplicity to this movie, as it seems to understand its subject and feels perfectly content with simply existing as a window to this point in time. As for the overall effect, the film captures a mood and does so in such an informal way, it never seems to realize how to handle more than a very loose narrative. It doesn't have much of an ending, nor does it start off in a traditional manner. It simply is and then isn't, with very little sense of emotional urgency or dramatic tension -- and that's sort of the point.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

200 Items Or Less: Swamp Thing (1982)

A few thoughts: It's strange to me that Wes Craven directed Last House On The Left and The Hills Have Eyes right before this, and turned around only 2 years later to direct A Nightmare On Elm Street. I'll give him credit, he has some weird range. As for the movie itself it isn't particularly impressive or overly exciting up until the climax, although the setting, scene transitions, and makeup/costume design are all amusing to say the least. I can't help but to feel The Toxic Avenger wouldn't have existed were it not for this movie, which honestly makes me happy this existed regardless of how entertaining it is in its own right. This is a bizarre superhero movie that captures all the campy elements you could expect, even going so far as to supply one of the most hilarious and awesome monster fights this side of the Godzilla series. It may feel cheap and lame at times, but it's always entertaining and the ending more than makes up for any of its problems. Just don't expect anything "good".

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Adventure Time (S01E26)

Episode #026
'Gut Grinder'
Season 1, Episode 26

As Finn and Jake travel around through many different towns and villages, the locals fear Jake and mistake him for a mysterious monster that's been attacking their homes and stealing their gold. Jake begins to fear he may actually be this "Gut Grinder" as Finn seeks to absolve his friend of these accusations.

Adventure Time (S01E25)

Episode #025
'His Hero'
Season 1, Episode 25

Finn and Jake stumble upon a hidden cave where a legendary hero named Billy spends his days. Billy used to fight and save people as Finn and Jake do, but he's given up hope that any of the lives he saved made any difference at all and beleven non-violence is the only real way to make a difference. His disillusionment leads to Finn and Jake contemplating whether or not they need to find non-violent ways to help people as well.

Adventure Time (S01E24)

Episode #024
'What Have You Done?'
Season 1, Episode 24

Princess Bubblegum sends Finn and Jake to kidnap and imprison Ice King, but they aren't sure why. After they capture him, Ice King proceeds to tell them that he hasn't committed any recent crimes, which causes Finn to have a bit of a crisis as he now receives himself as a bad guy. But PB sent them to capture the Ice King for a reason...

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Adventure Time (S01E23)

Episode #023
'Rainy Day Daydream'
Season 1, Episode 23

It's a rainy day, so Finn and Jake can't go out for an adventure. Instead, Jake decides to use his imagination to invent a dungeon inside of their house, but there's a problem: it isn't just in his imagination. Everything he thinks becomes true, even though Finn can't see it. So they have to venture through the treehouse to get to Jake's imagination shut-off switch before it completely takes over.

200 Items Or Less: The Beast With Five Fingers (1946)

A few thoughts: The second killer hand movie starring Peter Lorre that I'm aware of, this mystery/horror/thriller almost entirely set within a single house is one of the finest of its time, offering interesting twists and providing Lorre possibly the best role of his entire career. While there are definitely some flaws in its tone and semi-comedic execution, the occasionally lighthearted approach to this dark and psychological story is never enough to distract from the overall effect and quality of the film, which makes the most of its limited setting and quirky characters. It's gorgeous to look at (the lighting and set design are incredibly effective), always keeps you guessing, and does a great job at establishing its immoral characters and their respective motivations. As I said before, Lorre is terrific here, adding an air of creepiness that would've otherwise been lost without him. While I personally would've scrapped the cornball comedy that pops up in the last several minutes, I still felt very satisfied by the time it had finished. Good stuff.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Adventure Time (S01E22)

Episode #022
Season 1, Episode 22

Finn happens upon Marceline and her old henchman, who desperately wishes to be set free from his role as her stooge. Finn offers his services in exchange for the old man's freedom. Marceline accepts, and takes him with her to complete a series of seemingly-evil but innocent tasks. Meanwhile, Jake attempts to conquer his fear of vampires in order to save Finn from a lifetime as a henchman.

Sunday, February 12, 2017

200 Items Or Less: The Abominable Snowman (1957)

A few thoughts: Hammer produced some of the finest horror films of the '50s and '60s, from Dracula to The Mummy and of course Frankenstein. But before all of that, they released a couple science fiction horror movies and this underrated gem. Playing out as more of a survival adventure movie than straight-up horror, this movie is far more intelligent and reserved than you might expect from a late '50s movie about yeti killing people in the Himalayas. It starts off slow, develops the characters well, and does an excellent job at establishing the brutally harsh setting. What particularly impressed me about this movie is how reserved it was in the third act. A lesser film would have shamelessly exploited the monsters and approached everything from a simple "giant monster eats the people and then the people run and scream" perspective, but this one is entirely more psychological and thoughtful than that. Peter Cushing is terrific, as always, though Forrest Tucker is a definite highlight. This might not be the very best movie Hammer ever produced, but it's pretty close and sadly very difficult to find a physical copy of on a region 1 player.

Adventure Time (S01E21)

Episode #021
Season 1, Episode 21

While patrolling for safety hazards, Finn and Jake happen upon a tiny town made up of housepeople who are being pestered by an incredibly obnoxious grass ogre named Donny. In an attempt to make Donny into less of a jerk, Finn invites him to their tree house to play games and hang out. They soon discover Donny's presence in the town was keeping werewolves at bay, so they have to convince him to go back.

Adventure Time (S01E20)

Episode #020
'Freak City'
Season 1, Episode 20

Finn gives a beggar a cube of sugar, when it is revealed that it wasn't actually a beggar: it was the Magic Man. To "repay" Finn for his charity, he transforms his body into a gigantic foot. Unable to fight bad guys and function as he used to, Finn winds up getting thrown under a bridge by some townsfolk for being a freak, where there are other people transformed into body parts like him.

Friday, February 10, 2017

Adventure Time (S01E19)

Episode #019
'The Duke'
Season 1, Episode 19

Princess Bubblegum hates the Duke of Nuts. I mean, REALLY hates him. When Finn and Jake are outside the castle throwing magic bottles, one of them accidentally smashes through a window and hits PB, turning her bald and green. She believes this was perpetrated by the Duke, and sends Finn out to get justice on him, which fills him with guilt.

Adventure Time (S01E18)

Episode #018
Season 1, Episode 18

Princess Bubblegum leaves Finn and Jake in charge of putting safety signs around a dungeon hole, which naturally piques the interest of Finn, who proceeds to enter the dungeon without the help of Jake. What at first is a fairly lighthearted romp escalates into full-on danger for Finn, who eventually discovers how much he relies on Jake during his adventures -- more, in fact, than his ego would have previously allowed him.

Thursday, February 9, 2017

200 Items Or Less: Altered States (1980)

A few thoughts: Though not as weird as other things directed by Ken Russell, this is a pretty bizarre science ficton movie with awesome effects and an intriguing concept. Based on the book by Paddy Chayefsky who also wrote the screenplay (under a pseudonym), it's no surprise that this is a very clever story with strong characterization. William Hurt gives what I would consider to be among his best performances ever (rivaling Kiss Of The Spider Woman and A History Of Violence) in a role where he's required to go to more insane and committed lengths than a majority of his other performances. The visual effects are totally awesome, blending body horror into the affair in subtle ways, and the result feels like a blend of Kubrick and '80s Cronenberg. It's never boring, moves along at a decent pace, and keeps things interesting at all times -- both visually and storywise. I particularly enjoyed the blend of scientific and natural elements, which keep the story grounded while still fantastical. It's not the most groundbreaking film, but it was interesting to watch and very well constructed.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Adventure Time (S01E17)

Episode #017
'When Wedding Bells Thaw'
Season 1, Episode 17

The Ice King shows up at Finn and Jake's treehouse to announce his engagement, and asks them to throw him a bachelor party as his last hurrah before giving up on kidnapping princesses forever. They comply as Ice King begins to doubt whether or not to give up his kidnapping ways, and the true nature of his relationship with the princess comes to light.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

200 Items Or Less: Godzilla Vs. Hedorah (1971)

A few thoughts: Of all the wacky, ridiculous Godzilla movies to come from the '70s, this just might be the weirdest. With random animated sequences, a bizarre giant lumpy mutant tadpole monster with googly red eyes, and another child-friendly Godzilla from the era that tried to turn the king of monsters into an adorable martial artist, it's really hard to watch this movie and take it even remotely seriously. Oh, and did I mention it started off with a James Bond-like title sequence? Because it did. While this still stands above several other Godzilla movies, it's overall not the most entertaining giant monster movie out there. The fight scenes are pretty dull, and with the exception of Godzilla using his breath to fly through the air (look below for an image of that bit of cinematic genius), there aren't enough silly moments to make you laugh as much as you will during something like Godzilla Vs. Megalon or King Kong Escapes. It was a weird point in time for Godzilla, and this is a great example of that, even if it isn't very good.

The Star Trek Movies: IV, V, & VI

As I mentioned in my last Star Trek post, I'm not a huge fan. I've only seen a little bit of the original series, and while I plan on changing that soon, it does mean I can go into these movies without having a freak-out attack every time the movies contradict the series. So my word here isn't gospel, as my reviews are also quite short. But here is my first post: just click anywhere over here and you can see it. And on to the next post.

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

200 Items Or Less: Deadly Prey (1988)

A few thoughts: Oh man, where can I even start with a movie like this? I guess with the disclaimer that this is a terrible movie by almost any standard you could weigh a movie by. The key to that sentence was the word *almost*, because this movie is a totally hilarious mess. The acting is stiff and awkward, leading to tons of laugh-out-loud moments that are meant to be taken seriously, the actions scenes are poorly choreographed and relentlessly over-the-top, the plot is just a shameless copy of First Blood (minus the part of the story that involves an actual story), and just about every technical aspect of the film is amateurish and clunky. Excessively violent, cheesy, and an absolute blast to sit through. It's difficult to describe this movie without comparing it to something by Cannon, but not even Golan-Globus ever produced anything that felt this cheap. You come for the action, stay for the humor, and walk away knowing you just witnessed something far greater than the filmmakers could have ever intended. Once you see a guy beat someone to death with their own severed arm, you can't regret having given this movie a try.

Monday, February 6, 2017

200 Items Or Less: Sugar Hill (1974)

A few thoughts: As I said in a post I made a little over a month ago, I planned on watching through some blaxploitation movies here in February. This is the first one I got to, and while I enjoyed the twist on the zombie genre and some of its visuals, I don't know for sure how much I liked it. The zombies had cool metallic eyes (not sure if they were meant to be their eyeballs or not, but they looked neat) and it was interesting to see them used by the protagonist for vengeance instead of just being zombies that kill everyone with the running, survival, and all that; it was basically standard blaxploitation, but instead of using a gun to shoot honkeys, zombies were munching on them. It was a fun gimmick, but it did wear thin after a while, since that's what the entire movie was about. The acting is almost so bad it's good, but not quite there yet. It didn't quite satisfy my desire for a voodoo-heavy horror movie, but wasn't trying to be scary, so I can't really blame the movie for my own expectations.

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Let's improve 'The Notebook'


The Notebook is a pretty bad movie. The main character is unlikable, the writing is gooey and dramatic, the story is dull, and the actors cast to play the older versions of the characters look nothing like the younger actors at all. I mean, Ryan Gosling aging and turning into James Garner? I don't think so. Which got me thinking: what if James Garner wasn't actually Ryan Gosling's character at all? Now, this isn't a theory, because you can see when they flip through a photo album that he was just putting youthful, non-specific faces on these characters as a means to tell a story, but wouldn't it have been much more interesting if he was telling a story with a different ending? At the end of the movie we find out that James Garner is Ryan Gosling, Geno Rowlands is Rachel McAdams, and he has been visiting her every day for as long as she's been ill. It's sweet, romantic, a slightly vomitous, but it would have been so much better if James Garner was actually James Marsden's character all along. Why? It would have been selfless atonement, and far richer and more emotionally powerful.

Adventure Time (S01E16)

Episode #016
'Ocean Of Fear'
Season 1, Episode 16

An adventure ending on a beach leads to Finn coming to realize his overwhelming fear of the ocean. His fear manifests itself as a ghostly figure that feeds on his inability to conquer this phobia. Finn then asks for Jake's help with it, whose methods for curing this fear are unconventional to say the least.

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Adventure Time (S01E15)

Episode #015
'What Is Life?'
Season 1, Episode 15

After Jake throws a giant garbage bag full of butter at Finn, it awakens a "pranking demon" inside of him. He decides the best way to get back to him is by creating a robot that throws never ending pies at Jake's face. He makes the robot named NEPTR (which stands for "Never Ending Pie Throwing Robot") it comes to life with a bolt of lightning, and due to malfunction, Finn goes to the Ice King's lair to get it fixed.

Friday, February 3, 2017

The Star Trek Movies: I, II, & III

Hey look, I'm not writing about Frankenstein because I'm a piece of crap liar. I guess I'll do Star Trek. Anybody here heard of this super obscure thing?

I have never been too big into Star Trek. When it comes to any form of pop culture I often reject the entertainment which spawns the most rabid of fanbases, and when it comes down to that you won't find a more annoyingly dedicated and psychotic fanbase than that of Star Trek. I've only watched a couple episodes from the original show and never seen more than short clips from anything beyond that (Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, and whatever other series' included), so right out the gate I want to get it out of the way that I don't *know* Star Trek like a lot of other people do. All I know is that I enjoy clever and fun science fiction movies and going through this film franchise offered plenty of entertainment for me. Are they true to the source material? I can't be certain though I'd venture to guess that no, they aren't. So let's just approach this from an outsider's perspective and how someone like me with a sense of humor and only a passing interest in real Star Trek might see the movies.

This isn't going to be a massive write-up like my Hammer Frankenstein piece, so I hope not to let anyone down with my lack of detail and knowledge. But I actually know a little about Frankenstein, so if I pretend to be an expert here it would just be a big damn lie. Is that what you want? Big damn lies? I thought not. Now let's start with the first one.

Adventure Time (S01E14)

Episode #014
'The Witch's Curse'
Season 1, Episode 14

Finn and Jake happen across a gated garden that grows donuts, which leads to Jake eating one of the donuts and being transformed into a half-dog man-baby who can no longer by a witch, who demands that Jake apologize for stealing from her or she won't give him his powers back. He refuses, so he and Finn go off to look for a mud puddle that could magically restore Jake's appearance and shapeshifting abilities.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Adventure Time (S01E13)

Episode #013
'City Of Thieves'
Season 1, Episode 13

Finn and Jake approach a city of thieves where they are greeted by a hag warning them that anyone who enters the city will become a thief themselves. They also run into a little girlfriend outside the city limits who claims to have been robbed of her basket by people within the city, so they venture inside to find and retrieve her basket -- even at the risk of the city corrupting them.