200 Items Or Less: The Pit And The Pendulum (1991)

A few thoughts: Stuart Gordon is one of those directors who you can always count on to deliver the goods -- if by "goods" you mean exploitative trash. This time he takes on the Spanish inquisition, which was very unexpected, bringing tons of gore into the fold. This is where I'd usually talk about Jeffrey Combs, but his role was small. Lance Henriksen as the grand inquisitor, however, was a huge part of this movie, and roughly 80% of the reason to watch it. If you ever doubted why he's such a massive cult actor, just watch this movie. He's ridiculously over the top, creepy, and perfect for the movie surrounding him. I was also pretty surprised by how good the movie looks. Solid attention to detail with the sets, costumes, and even more subtle touches in makeup and hair, but the way the film is lit really makes it pop. This is a striking movie, and with all that blood, it's hard to look away. This is by no means high art, but Henriksen brings it, and the movie actually works pretty well.

200 Items Or Less: The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)

A few thoughts: Shane Black is a writer who can't help but to be in love with himself, and that comes through with every movie he's ever written. Full of "witty" dialogue and general smarminess, this forgettable '90s action movie is no exception. While his directorial efforts generally suit his screenplays better, with Renny Harlin taking on this role, the result is less than satisfying. Geena Davis is solid in the main role, if slightly uneven, but she along with Samuel L. Jackson give it their best. Too bad for both of them, they have terrible on-screen chemistry. The way these two characters interact and develop is clunky, awkward, and rings false. Additionally, this movie commits the sin of casting both Brian Cox and David Morse in roles so small, they feel almost entirely wasted. The action is fine, but it's very cheesy and not terribly impressive. Overall I found this movie very uninteresting and quite disappointing.

200 Items Or Less: Bad Ass (2012)

A few thoughts: Followed by two cheap VOD sequels (that I can pretty much guarantee I'll never watch) and based on a video that made some old dude internet famous for about a week, Bad Ass is pure, unadulterated, cheap trash. It's also starring Danny Trejo, which is pretty much the most perfect casting choice imaginable. So, what could I possibly think about a movie based on a viral video starring Danny Trejo? It's garbage? It's fun? It's stupid? All of the above. There no way anyone could go into this movie expecting a legitimate movie, and while the screenplay takes every standard avenue, the ultimate appeal of this movie comes from watching Danny Trejo give one of his more entertaining performances, beating up bad guys and quipping his way through the film like a Mexican Schwarzenegger. But much like Hobo With A Shotgun, Machete, and other modern grindhouse movies, not even a fun leading performance can lift it up to levels higher than just passable. It's very cheap, but Trejo makes it work, even when the plot slows down and relies on his odd sort of charisma.

Top 10 Jeffrey Combs performances

It's been a while since my last of these lists (Nathan Fillion, I think?), but that doesn't mean I've given up on them or my site completely.

200 Items Or Less: The Thing (1982)

A few thoughts: One of those instances where I really have nothing new to add to the conversation, but I love this movie and feel it deserves every voice available to join in the chorus of praise. As much as I enjoy the 1951 version, John Carpenter's vision is very obviously superior, amping up the tension and paranoia by making the monster into a shape-shifter. The practical effects here are some of the best of all time, and the fact they were done on such a modest budget, and in some cases with serious time restraints, just proves once again how much better they are (and how much better they hold up over time) than CG. The cast is terrific, with Kurt Russell and Keith David in particular giving some of the best performances of their respective careers. The music is awesome, the setting is isolated and atmospheric, the acting and effects are amazing... There's really nothing about this movie that doesn't work. It may not be the greatest horror or science fiction film of all time, but it's damn close.

200 Items Or Less: Graveyard Shift (1990)

A few thoughts: I really enjoy the campiness of a lot of '80s and '90s Stephen King horror adaptations, and while I wouldn't quite put this on the same level as the killer washing machine movie 'The Mangler', it does stand as one of the more entertaining ones. As usual, the Maine accents are strong with this one, with Steven Macht in particular standing out as the most committed to hamming it up in that department... and everywhere else, for that matter. He's tons of fun as Warwick, an insidious and violent boss who treats his workers like a prison warden treats inmates. Also, there's a small performance by Brad Dourif, whose twitchy weirdness is never to be overlooked. In just a few small scenes he leaves a strong impression and is one of the best things about the movie. The set design is nice and grubby, and the way they shot the film really showcased it well. I like this movie, and I also feel the practical effects deserve a mention -- they were pretty awesome. It's messy and simple, but it works, and manages to be pretty entertaining.