Monday, November 21, 2016

'Sharkenstein' is about what you'd expect

My third shark movie of the year and for its sheer craziness, this might be my favorite. The effects in this movie are beyond incredible. Usually, a movie with bad effects would simply be unconvincing but still make sense within the confines of reality. Nope, not here. This movie utilizes effects that are baffling in every sense of the word. It sounds like a cop out, but they really need to be seen to be understood -- note my use of the word "understood" as opposed to "believed". Because trust me, you won't be given the opportunity to believe it. Off the top of my head, I cannot name a single other movie with more confusing and outright nonsensical effects than Sharkenstein. I'm still in awe of it.

The acting is every bit as awful as you could expect, with the real star being a crazy German doctor who keeps forgetting that he's trying to have an accent. Now, you might find yourself asking if this movie is intentionally stupid or just accidentally so. The answer is a resounding "BOTH". When you can't afford real actors and good effects, you work with what you have and embrace how bad it's all bound to be. So that's what this movie does, though you can tell a lot of the bad acting is purely coincidence and not the result of attempted ham. But if you start to think any of this is accidental, there is a scene where Sharkenstein has sex with a woman. I think it was supposed to be a rape scene, but with acting like this it was even more confusing than the original Straw Dogs. So there's that.

If I were judging this movie based on the effects alone, I would give it an 8/10 just for entertaining me so much. The acting adds to the fun, bad editing and some funny lines boost it as well. But there is a point of diminishing returns with the lousiness, and this one crosses that line at points (see: shark sex). All-in-all, this is a much more satisfyingly hilarious bad shark movie than most of the other ones you'll come across.

Rating: N/A
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