Wednesday, August 17, 2016

So Bad They're Good - Top 50 Movies: Part II (#40 - 31)

40. Big Trouble In Little China

Year: 1986
Director: John Carpenter
Genre(s): Action/Adventure/Comedy

It's weird to me that John Carpenter, director of Halloween and Escape From New York, made this movie. A totally cheesy '80s action movie that makes you wonder how goofy it's really supposed to be. It's funny and makes jokes, but the complete insanity involved in this movie makes it so surprisingly bizarre and silly, it's hard to believe it could have all been totally intended. Either way, it doesn't keep it from being fun and exciting and deliciously goofy.

Best moment: A guy gets so mad his head blows up...or something like that.

39. Banana Motherf*cker

Year: 2011
Director: Pedro Florencia & Fernando Alle
Genre(s): Horror/Comedy

A foreign short about killer bananas. It doesn't get much more in depth than that, and just shows tons of mutilation and gory death at the hands of a bunch of evil fruit. And yes it's as stupid as it sounds and every bit as funny as you might hope it could be.

Best moment: Basically the entire thing, since it's only like 15 minutes long.

38. The Wicker Man

Year: 2006
Director: Robin Hardy
Genre(s): Thriller

Another hilarious Nicolas Cage extravaganza that is almost impossible to not see as a totally hilarious comedy. Everything about this movie is done poorly, and at the center of this pointless and idiotic movie is Cage, the perfect over actor to make or break a movie. And he does both here simultaneously, because why not? He can do whatever he wants.

Best moment: Nic Cage punching women while wearing a bear suit.

37. Jaws 3-D

Year: 1983
Director: Joe Alves
Genre(s): Horror/Thriller

The first Jaws was one of the greatest thrillers ever made, the second one wasn't half bad, but then something happened when the third installment came along and totally wrecked everything...or so they thought. At this point in time, I enjoy this stupid movie as much as the original. It's the first truly great bad shark movie, and the trippy-ass 3D make the whole movie a wonderfully unique experience.

Best moment: The most convincing 3D shark attack ever, bursting through the glass and terrifying audiences for decades to come.

36. Monsturd

Year: 2003
Director: Rick Popko & Dan West
Genre(s): Horror/Comedy

Told as a bedtime story, because why the hell not, this movie is basically exactly what you would expect it to be. And that is a goofy, icky movie about a monster turd. This movie could have easily stunk (BA BOOM POW!!!), but managed to be a lot funnier than it had any right to be. Just the proper amount of tongue in cheek to be funny but not too annoyingly desperate for laughs. Also it has one of the most stupidly catchy theme songs ever.

Best moment: Police go into a sewer and discover the poopy remains of several maimed victims and proceed to throw up for like 5 minutes.

35. Game Of Death 2

Year: 1980
Director: See-Yuen Ng
Genre(s): Action

Bruce Lee passed away over 5 years before the release of this movie, and that is obvious. They use clips from other movies, shoot a majority of his scenes from behind, and then kill off his character halfway through the movie. And that's around when the movie actually turns into a real movie, and man is it fun. Over the top action around every corner! Excitement! Wow! Bruce Lee lives!

Best moment: A lion leaps through a window for some dimly-lit hand to hand combat.

34. Over The Top

Year: 1987
Director: Menahem Golan
Genre(s): Action/Drama

Yes, I have returned to the warm comfort of the Cannon bosom, and it is glorious. A sweaty arm wrestling sports masterpiece about a truck driver, played by Stallone, trying to reconnect with his estranged son. In almost every way you can quantify it, this is a bad movie. But there's a charm and sweetness to it that I found strangely interesting, even though that little kid is annoying as hell for at least 3/4 of the movie. Still, this is a super duper '80s movie and I kinda love it.

Best moment: The most macho final competition ever. Muscles and sweat and intense arm wrestling everywhere.

33. Cannibal! The Musical

Year: 1993
Director: Trey Parker
Genre(s): Musical/Comedy

I love Parker and Stone. Back in the day, they were some of the funniest creative minds in entertainment, and this movie is right near the beginning of that amazing time in their careers. Released by Troma, this is one of the most funny and overall entertaining musicals ever made, complete with hilarious performances by Parker and Stone themselves. It's cheesy and gross, but the writing is fun and the songs are really catchy.

Best moment: Let's build a snowman. We can make him our best friend.

32. Bubba Ho-Tep

Year: 2002
Director: Don Coscarelli
Genre(s): Horror/Comedy

This one is truly surprising to me because of how straight it's played. There are a lot of funny moments in this movie for sure, but it doesn't rely on cheap gags and easy jokes to make the whole thing come together. In theory, we have a standard campy mash-up of silly ideas, but at its core we have a really well-told dramatic story -- one that's still funny, though. I actually cared about what was going to happen in this movie, and that is amazing to me considering it's about retired Elvis and black JFK fighting an ancient mummy.

Best moment: Bruce Campbell's incredibly committed performance. As silly as it sounds, he's actually genuinely compelling.

31. No Holds Barred

Year: 1989
Director: Thomas J. Wright
Genre(s): Action

What can I say about this wonderful Hulk Hogan movie? This is one of the single most insane movies I've ever seen, and one of the most bizarre star vehicles ever made. It's got action, comedy, double-crosses, cackling villains, and an epic unibrow that defies all logic. If you like really bad movies, this one cannot wait. Trust me, it's important that you watch this thing, even if just to verify its existence, because I'm genuinely uncertain that this movie was for real.

Best moment: A chase scene ending with poopypants.

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