Survivor: Borneo - contestant ranking (spoilers)

Before beginning, I'm making this list based on how the contestants came across as characters on a TV show, not based on who they are or what they did outside of the show. This means I'm going to try my hardest not to let the awful things many of the people who have been on this show have done outside of Survivor have any effect on this list. Additionally, for any repeat contestants, I'm trying not to allow my feelings about them elsewhere change the way I judge them on the season in question. I know it's difficult, but it's what I have to do in order to maintain the "integrity" of my already-difficult-to-make list. 

Making a ranking list of Survivor contestants by season is inherently going to be difficult compared to the contestant rankings I do for Taskmaster, since a good deal of the people on this show will have significantly less screen time than the comedians on TM, as well as different sorts of appeal. While some may be more fun to watch, others will be more strategic, or conniving. Others are going to be useful around camp but worn out for challenges, while others will be lazier at camp and dominant in challenges. Some people will have made it further in the game by slipping under the radar but lack much personality, others have big personalities and almost instantly knocked out. 

What I'm basically saying here is that a large portion of my ordering is going to be pretty subjective and almost impossible to fully justify. I will try to make sense as I go along, but I'm sure I'll be riddled with inconsistencies, so try not to take anything I write too seriously. Like I said at the very beginning of this post, a good deal of what I'm basing my list(s) on is how compelling they are to watch, for better or worse. 

16. B.B. (15th place)

The first season of Survivor definitely wasn't immediately approached with the kind of tactics that would be implemented later, but one relatively routine early season trend was set up here: an unpleasant old person will try to boss everyone around and get voted off quickly. 

15. Stacey (14th place)

Stacey didn't start off on the right foot, pretty quick to start drama and complain about everyone. She also left early, to the surprise of no one.

14. Dirk (12th place)

Dirk came on a little strong with the religious angle, which pretty much turned people off. No one wants to be preached, especially not when they're hungry and tired.

13. Greg (9th place, 1st in jury)

Greg wasn't just a weirdo, he was reality TV weird, which I find a lot more annoying. He knew he would be able to be memorable on TV if he played up his strangeness, and seemed to enjoy the spotlight a little too much: even when it focused on his creepy, borderline incestuous tendencies.

12. Sonja (16th place)

While she may have been the first to be voted off, there seemed to be no animosity towards her by anyone. She simply wasn't physically strong enough to be helpful, but seemed to be a sweet person. She's only this low because she didn't have time to really shine.

11. Ramona (13th place)

One of the first contestants on the show to have a discernable arc, Ramona started off feeling sick and standoffish, but eventually came around to being a productive part of her team, only for it to be deemed "too late" and voted off. Pretty sad seeing Jenna do her dirty like that. 

10. Gervase (7th place, 3rd jury)

While he seemed to get a free pass a lot based on his charms, Gervase's poor work ethic and successes during challenges was a source of consistent irritation for me. That being said, he knew how to stay alive on the show, and his confidence wasn't unjustified. 

9. Sean (5th place, 5th jury)

Sean was, for lack of a better term, a complete moron. His idiotic voting system led to a huge shift in power, his dingbat attempts at building a beach bowling alley were a huge waste of effort that didn't seem to yield any positive results, and he mostly just spent his time wandering around looking confused. What I find the most concerning about him is that he worked in the medical field. Truly frightening.

8. Joel (11th place)

I found Joel to be a mostly likeable figure, who wound up being voted out for sexism. Which I find funny, considering the comments that were made that got him in hot water were clearly said by Gervase, but for whatever reason he got a pass for that. That being said, Joel was a hard worker and a strong leader -- even if his ego seemed to imply he thought he was much more than that.

7. Gretchen (10th place)

Had Gretchen made it further into the merge, she may well have been a more interesting character on the show, but as it stands what she brought to the table was a loner whose survival skills were unparalleled by anyone else in the first season. Sadly, this aspect of real life survival isn't really what makes the show fun to watch, since a good chunk of the entertainment comes from interpersonal relations, of which she didn't seem to have many. 

6. Kelly (2nd place, runner-up)

I'm not putting Kelly this high on the list because I like her, but because of the impact she had on the show as a whole. Her loyalty shifts/betrayals, her total immunity dominance over the last several tribal councils, and the general unpredictability of her actions made her one of the players most capable of changing outcomes during the post-merge portion of the show. Also, she was the main source of inspiration for the iconic "snake and the rat" speech, which still holds up as pretty hilarious -- albeit totally ridiculous.

5. Sue (4th place, 6th in jury)

Oh, Sue. She was totally obnoxious, constantly going on about how stupid everyone else was, how much she hated driving trucks in Chicago, constantly whining about how people needed to find tapioca, and at least during this first appearance of hers I found it all hilarious. She wasn't a smart player, but she got in early with Rudy and Rich, which really was the only thing that wound up saving her. While her later appearance on All-Stars (and everything surrounding that, which I will get into when I write about season 8) definitely made me dislike her more, I still found her pretty fun to watch here.

4. Jenna (8th place, 2nd in jury)

Jenna got some of the biggest emotional reactions of the entire first season during a devastating reward challenge, but even apart from that Jenna left a pretty strong impression. She was the one who fell victim to Sean's supreme stupidity, making her one of the most unlucky contestants from the very beginning, but she was still not quite clever enough to save herself after the merge. 

3. Colleen (6th place, 4th in jury)

One of the few people opposite the Richard/Rudy/Sue/Kelly alliance who could clearly see the writing on the wall with the threat of their block of votes. Colleen was a funny, perceptive, and overall competent player. She lasted quite a while in spite of being one of the only people who knew what was going on with the alliance of 4, but was unable to keep herself around any longer due to the inaction of others. It's a pity she never came back for another season.

2. Rudy (3rd place, 7th in jury)

I kinda loved Rudy. From the beginning, Rudy made the wrong impression with a lot of other players, but was able to realize he was best off not coming on so strong and found footing in an alliance with Richard that ultimately carried them both through the show together. While many other players' loyalties were questionable, Rudy was pretty much the most consistent and honest person there. He was abrasive at times, but spoke his mind and was almost always hilarious in confessionals due to his no-nonsense old man bluntness. A lot of the things he said would probably offend modern audiences, but that's honestly a big part of why I found him so enjoyable. He was just funny, and usually because it didn't even occur to him how astonishingly offensive or tasteless his comments might be. 

1. Richard (1st place, winner by 4-3 vote)

Not only is Richard the first ever winner on the show, but from the very first episode he made his presence known as an excellent social strategist and all-round devious S.O.B. without a worthy rival to oppose him. Forming a strong alliance early, and establishing himself as an excellent provider due to his fishing skills, Richard knew how to play the game before the game even started, brashly commenting in the first episode that he already won the game and was just waiting to make it all official. He was not just a great villain for the show, but had all the charm and humor required to make every episode worth watching just to see what he might do next, whether it was to manipulate a vote to his favor, or to strip off all his clothes and walk the beach nude. Richard was easily the most entertaining character on the show, and a totally worthy winner. I don't even know if he was someone I loved to hate, or just loved in general, but he's one of the best players/characters the show has ever seen. 

Overall Impression

While the first season of Survivor remains a classic in a lot of ways, a great deal of what makes this cast stand out hinges on the Richard alliance. As could be expected, many of the early ejections are relatively forgettable or annoying, but this isn't something exclusive to the first season. While I don't overall find this batch of players as interesting as the seasons that immediately follow it, this group does still hold up as better than many of the casts to come. I'd give this group a B- rating.

Thanks for reading.