200 Items Or Less: Pumpkinhead (1988)

A few thoughts: When I first watched this movie last year I didn't think I would feel like watching it again anytime soon. I seem to remember even writing that. But as Halloween approached yet again I found myself thinking back on how much I loved how this movie captured a particular mood that I associate with the holiday. At times it feels like an outdoor haunted attraction, but with the crazy awesome lighting and cinematography, and the badass creature design (which I'm still bummed about not looking at all like a pumpkin but still has great effects), I'm willing to forgive it for not being the most genuinely terrifying movie out there. I love how the daylight scenes look so warm and comfortable, but as night approaches and Lance Henriksen's (strong performance, by the way) story takes a darker turn, the colors begin to sharpen and take away all that warmth. It's a well-paced movie that establishes its characters, their motivation, and gives the monster just the right amount of time on-screen. I wasn't a big fan of it at first, but I can see myself putting this one on fairly regularly when the fall season comes by.

200 Items Or Less: The Amityville Horror (1979)

A few thoughts: How do you make a horror movie where the house is the villain without it coming across as corny or weird? Well, on one end you have 'Monster House', designed for younger audiences which treats the house as a very active living entity, and on the other end you have this, which takes a much more subtle and occasionally creepy approach. One thing that struck me about this on my second time through was how much bits and pieces of it remind me of 'The Shining', but ultimately much less effective. The acting is solid, and there's a decent amount of atmospheric tension, but when it comes to the based on real-life but still totally made up events that take place in this movie, it's hard for it to break free from the source material and offer up some great scares. There's only ever a vaguely threatening air of menace, and at roughly 2 hours, the running time does become a problem because of this. Still, this is a solid haunted house movie, I just wish they'd ratcheted up the tension a little bit better before the goofy over-the-top ending.

200 Items Or Less: Kill Baby Kill (1966)

A few thoughts: One of many beautifully shot and lit Mario Bava films that doesn't seem to put a whole ton of emphasis on things like pacing. While it's great to look at, after the midway point I found myself fading away, not terribly interested in the outcome, just waiting for the ending to come along so I could say I finished it. That being said, in spite of my own misgivings and a few issues with pacing in the middle of the film, it does come to a satisfying conclusion, so I don't want people reading this to walk away thinking I disliked it by any means. Quite the contrary, it's a fun, atmospheric, and (again, I really want to emphasize this) really awesome looking in a lot of ways. The only "flaw" with the cinematography is the weirdly overused zooms that seemed to be thrown in a lot of the time just for the hell of it. As far as Bava films go, this isn't right at the top of the list for me, but it was still pretty solid and not totally devoid of any non-superficial traits. It's very much what I have come to expect from Italian horror.

200 Items Or Less: Don't Kill It (2017)

A few thoughts: Sometimes it's fun to just plug in a brainless actiony horror movie that you can laugh with and forget all about by the time it's over. This is exactly that kind of movie, and I regret nothing. Dolph Lundgren plays a demon hunter who's spent a good chunk of his life tracking down a demon that moves from host to host by being killed, making it very hard to stop. It's sort of like 'Fallen', but with way more blood. I know this isn't a good movie in a lot of ways, bit so did the people who made it, which allowed them to have fun with the concept and approach it in a very similar way as something like 'Wolfcop'. It's super violent, has a few really great moments that define it, and has a surprisingly entertaining lead performance from Lundgren, who seemed to be enjoying himself a great deal here. It's got a few solid jokes, some really cool visuals (I particularly love the lighting), and a whole bunch of creative kills and over-the-top gore and action. What else could you really expect from a Lundgren action/horror movie?

200 Items Or Less: Knights Of Badassdom (2014)

A few thoughts: Every now and then you come across a movie that's so blatantly designed to appeal to one miniscule demographic and totally nails it in every way. This is one of those movies. I can't say I'm quite in the category, but as an overweight 20-something who loves genre films and has a passing interest in LARP, it's still pretty close. I can picture the exact person this movie is aimed towards, and every time I've recommended it to someone they've been a fan. This is a nerdy guy movie, and there's not much else to say about it. You've got a LARP session turning into real-life horrors, magic spells, popular nerd actors (Peter Dinklage, Danny Pudi), hot ladies making out, and all sorts of other aspects that will make all the nerds squeal in delight. It's never hilarious, but funny enough. The action/adventure aspects are suitably heroic, the fantasy and horror stuff work into the story perfectly, and pretty much everything falls into place from there. It's not mindblowing, but for what it is and who it's meant for, it can't really be improved.

200 Items Or Less: Puppet Master (1989)

A few thoughts: A lightweight slasher/horror in the vein of 'Leprechaun' that came out during that awkward time when slasher movies stopped being scary at all and started to get really dumb and (often) more intentionally silly. Now, this is definitely the kind of movie I might expect a small child to find terrifying, but as an adult I can't see anything to be scared of here. And yet again, that R-rating makes it hard to gauge just who this movie is trying to appeal to. It pretty much sums up Full Moon as a production company, relying on lame effects, corny visuals, and a really dorky premise to get by. A good deal of this movie makes little to no sense at all, the story tries to offer up twists, but they're pretty much pointless. The only real appeal here comes in the form of the puppets (stop motion!), and watching some of the ridiculous and creative death scenes. The acting is weak and there's nothing particularly special about the visuals, but I enjoy the music and the light atmosphere. It's a pretty harmless, ineffective horror film that's frothy enough to sit down to anytime without it bothering you.

200 Items Or Less: Leprechaun (1993)

A few thoughts: A totally harmless and mildly amusing sort-of slasher centered around Warwick Davis as an evil leprechaun bent on getting back his gold. Yes, it's a pretty terrible movie in a lot of ways, but it has no problem letting itself be intentionally silly and fun. It isn't really a parody, as it does try to be somewhat serious with the scary scenes (somehow), so it plays a lot like some of the cornier Stephen King films, like 'Pet Sematary'. I'm not sure who the target audience was, as it's too childish and goofy for most adults, but it's rated R, making it hard for kids to even watch it. Regardless, it may have been a misfire in a lot of ways, but I find it to be entertaining enough. Jennifer Aniston started here, so it's fun to see her back before even Friends, and of course Warwick Davis steals the show. He isn't particularly creepy nor is he gut-bustingly funny, but he brings so much wacky charm to this role, it's hard not to just love having him on-screen. This isn't a classic or anything, but it's (sadly) one of the more fun '90s horror movies.

200 Items Or Less: The Phantom Of The Opera (1943)

A few thoughts: One of many adaptations of the classic romance/horror/tragedy, and while it isn't the worst around, it is far from the best thanks to several crucial flaws. For one, there are far too many long, drawn out opera scenes. It's fine to a degree, but then it becomes exhausting filler that gives me a headache after more than a few minutes. At 90~ minutes, they could have easily cut out 15 just from opera scenes and it would have still had plenty to spare. Second, while I enjoy their take on the Phantom's motivation and Rains' performance, the makeup work on his face is severely lacking. If this were more of an actual horror movie that would be a bigger problem, but the fact it wasn't really a horror movie at all becomes it's own issue. As for the production, it looks beautiful. It's a wonderfully photographed film with great looking sets and costumes, and the dialogue between the two men in the central love triangle is entertaining. I still much prefer the 1925 and 1962 versions, but this was still solid enough.

200 Items Or Less: Slither (2006)

A few thoughts: A kind-of knock-off of the 1986 horror-comedy 'Night Of The Creeps', this is a CG and practical effects-ridden body horror alien insect zombie movie that delivers gore and comedy in satisfying quantities. Filled with funny and talented actors (most notably Michael Rooker, Nathan Fillion, and Elizabeth Banks), this James Gunn-directed bit of mayhem only suffers from a little too much CG, even if the practical effects make up for that particular flaw. This is more of a horror movie than it is a comedy, which is a good thing, as the humor comes in very small doses -- even if it is funny, it's spread out too much to be a total comedy. I've seen it about 3 or 4 times at this point, and while I used to enjoy it a ton, I have to admit I've grown a little cold on it over the past several years since I first saw it. It isn't super original, but that doesn't matter a lot to me. The execution is mostly on point, and there are a lot of great moments and funny lines. It also has a very weirdly satisfying ending that's somewhat unexpected. Icky fun.

200 Items Or Less: Jacob's Ladder (1990)

A few thoughts: A trippy and nightmarish sort of horror movie that tries its hardest to defy that simple classification, but ultimately can't be described as anything but just that. Hearing that this movie inspired the Silent Hill video games should come as a shock to no one who has heard of them, as the creepy atmosphere and grubby brownish visuals are pretty much staples of the series. Led by a strong lead performance from Tim Robbins, the entire cast does a pretty outstanding job, helping add to the general air of unease and weird tension throughout the film. I know I rarely mention much about plot in these little write-ups, but this is one instance where talking about the story would take away a lot of the effect of the film as a whole, so I would definitely recommend going into this one with as little prior knowledge about the story as possible. The crazy turns it takes make for an interesting experience. It's not a straight-up horror movie, but more of the Lynch/Cronenberg variety that gets under your skin in an unsettling sort of way.

200 Items Or Less: The Mummy (1959)

A few thoughts: Among the first wave of Hammer's reimaginings of the classic Universal monster movies, this stands as one of their better efforts, and partially due to the fact it never tries to duplicate the 1932 version -- in fact, this is more of a remake of the Universal Mummy sequels (The Mummy's Hand, The Mummy's Ghost, etc.), which feature Kharis instead of Imhotep. As could be expected of any Hammer film starring Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee, the main hero and monster pairing are great, and under the smooth direction of Terence Fisher, the story flies along at a brisk pace and results in a very satisfyingly abrupt finale. Why stick around for a drawn out ending when the story is obviously done being told? Just end it when it's finished. I like that. The lighting and visuals are pretty awesome here, and I love the makeup on the mummy, which goes from a muddied look to more dry and crispy as the film progresses. This might not be at the very top of the list when it comes to Hammer horror, but if not, it's still pretty close.

200 Items Or Less: Starry Eyes (2014)

A few thoughts: This is basically the film 'The Neon Demon' wishes it was in every way apart from the shiny visuals. A trippy Hollywood nightmare story about a struggling actress obsessed with landing a lead role in a mysterious upcoming project, this isn't the kind of horror movie you just sit down and enjoy. There's nothing particularly pleasant about this experience, which starts off slow and bizarre, transforming into a violent and downright icky bloodbath by the final third. A body horror of sorts, anchored by a pretty impressive lead performance that takes her character through all the emotional and physical changes of Brundlefly. While I wouldn't consider this among the very top horror performances of all-time, I might find room for it in a top 100. This is a pretty miserable, punishing movie, and your patience is rewarded with a satisfying arc and a whole ton of nasty violence. If you enjoy dour, unpleasant horror with very little hope or levity, this should be considered next time you want to depress yourself with a solid movie.

200 Items Or Less: The Exorcist (1973)

A few thoughts: It feels pretty pointless for me to even bother writing about this movie, but just in case there were lingering thoughts that my opinion might have strayed from the norm on this one, well, I'm here to tell you that they don't. I consider this not only one of the most effective horror films of all-time, but one of the most impressively constructed, well-acted, and truly disturbing movies ever made. Filled with subliminal messages and imagery, this movie has the reputation of being one of the most extreme horror films of its time (which it is), but is actually surprisingly slow-paced, letting that wonderful dread seep into your pores before freezing you out. Some of the scary scenes catch you off-guard with their abruptness, but the movie never over plays that. It's shocking, beautifully-shot (which is weird to say about a movie so grotesque), and gives Max Von Sydow one of his greatest and most memorable roles. And Linda Blair. And Ellen Burstyn. And Jason Miller. My god, this movie is fantastic.

200 Items Or Less: Hatchet (2006)

A few thoughts: I always enjoy slasher movies with a decent sense of humor, and this one handles the balance of comedy and horror pretty well. Victor Crowley is a great blend of 'The Hills Have Eyes'-style mutated killer with the unstoppable hulking Jason Voorhees type. He may not be a classic slasher villain yet, but hopefully within the next few years people will be able to look back on this as the beginning of a horror legend. Now, as fun as I found the movie, it suffers from a weird issue that usually only plagues action movies: the music is too damn loud. It drowns out the dialogue, and in a movie like this where the dialogue is pretty funny, that is a big problem. Sadly, this movie throws out Tony Todd and Robert Englund just for tiny cameos, both of which I was hoping might be used a bit more, but they are just cameos after all. Oh well. I love the practical effects, and the moments involving Victor Crowley ripping limbs off of bodies, twisting people's heads off, etc. It's pretty self-aware, funny when it needs to be, and super gory. I had fun.

200 Items Or Less: The Witch (2016)

A few thoughts: It's hard for me to try to talk about this movie in less than 200 words, as I recently spent about an hour having a conversation about it and still felt certain aspects were left mostly unmentioned. So, I'm just gonna cover a few points. One, the set, costume design, and dialogue is very period appropriate. Nothing stood out to me as false in this department at all. Two, the acting, while decidedly stiff and ye olde, was all-round pretty fantastic. Three, the music is haunting and perfectly punctuates actions, as well as helping add to the overarching sense of dread. And four, they do a fantastic job with the characters at establishing motivation, making every action hold up as perfectly understandable and justified within the context of the film. This isn't some sort of non-stop thrill ride, it's an atmospheric horror film that puts a great deal of emphasis on characters, setting, and a feeling of dread instead of being all about things popping out at the screen and giving the audience the spooks. It's far, far better than that.

200 Items Or Less: Vampire's Kiss (1988)

A few thoughts: One of the most bizarrely entertaining movies of the 1980s, 'Vampire's Kiss' walks that fine line between intentional and unintentional humor, flips off that line, calls it some filthy names, and then pees all over it. My point is, by the time it's done, you won't be sure what was intended at any point throughout the entire film, but you'll almost certainly never be able to forget it. I like to try my hardest to get in the mindset of the director, writer, producers, or virtually anyone else involved in making this film, but I have the distinct feeling I'd have to experiment with cocaine in order to achieve the desired enlightenment, and that's just too expensive and dangerous for 'lil old me. To adequately sum this movie up, I'll have to reference an episode of the TV series 'Community' that poses the question: "is Nicolas Cage good or evil?" The answer to this question sadly cannot be found here, but this performance is a prime example of how a question like that could be asked of an actor's entire career. Prepare for an unforgettable, hilarious experience.

200 Items Or Less: Black Sheep (2006)

A few thoughts: This is a movie that knows exactly what it is and what it wants to be. Tonally, this film could have easily been a mess, never taking itself seriously enough to work as a horror film in any capacity, or funny enough to live up to its absurd subject matter. Instead, it does a remarkable job at balancing both, offering up an inspired 'Shaun Of The Dead'-like film that is funny enough to be a comedy, and bizarrely grotesque enough to work as some variety of body horror. No, it never hits the highs of that particular example, but I don't think bringing them up in the same conversation is by any means an insult. The characters are well-handled, the gore effects are almost shockingly good, and the movie knows better than to make a complete mockery of itself, even when it sometimes wants to do just that. It lets the absurdity speak for itself and allows the characters to be rightfully afraid -- in spite of how dumb it all is. In no other movie could you watch a guy get humped by a sheep in a field while wearing a wool blanket and have that somehow work.

200 Items Or Less: Theatre Of Blood (1973)

A few thoughts: When talking about a movie like this, it's virtually impossible to even attempt separating it from the film's main star, Vincent Price. And why would you want to? Not only was the screenplay clearly tailored specifically for him, but as one of the greatest horror film stars of all time, he would be hard to ignore either way. A comedic and dramatic film, centered around a niche actor known for his hammy and overwrought performances, who decides in the twilight of his years to take revenge on the critics who so long denied him his precious accolades. Like I said before, this film was clearly built around him. And what it also does is provide him ample opportunities for costume changes and sinister character moments, allowing him to display all the range he ever needed. I see it as a giant middle finger to snobby film critics everywhere, and I love it. It's big, dramatic, tons of fun, and gives an older Vincent Price some career-best material to work with. Sometimes all an actor needs is to be himself.

200 Items Or Less: Bad Taste (1987)

A few thoughts: The feature film debut of acclaimed director Peter Jackson, who later went on to make some of the biggest epics of the 2000s with the Lord Of The Rings trilogy and King Kong. And honestly, as much as I love the crap out of his Lord Of The Rings, I wish he'd continued making films like this bit of trash for a while longer, because he had an eye for the absurd and knew how to handle practical effects in the most ludicrously entertaining ways possible. Largely lacking in dialogue and actual performances in the traditional sense, most of the appeal with this film comes from the slapstick moments and exaggerated gore. Jackson pulls double duty as not only director (and writer, along with other stuff like that), but two of the main characters as well. So, I guess, more like quintuple duty. Either way it's fairly evident from his hilarious performances that he not only knew the tone he was going for, but was pretty much the sole contributor from a creative perspective. I love it, therefore you should love it, too.

200 Items Or Less: Cube (1997)

A few thoughts: Visually interesting but somewhat lacking as far as story goes, this bottle horror drama has some intriguing set-ups and one particularly dark character arc. I'll just come out and say now that I really wish this movie had sprung for some better actors, as there are more than a handful of moments that are completely impaired by the weak cast, with the aforementioned character (which was handled really well otherwise) played by probably the weakest actor in the bunch. I sort of enjoyed the Kafkaesque nature of the non-story in certain ways, but I have to admit I was pretty disappointed by the revelation of what purpose the Cube actually served. It could have easily become 'Saw' (it still left an evident mark on that future franchise), but instead took a less direct path, and I have to appreciate the film for that. It felt lacking, but never cheap or ham-handedly over-the-top with any contrived messages. It just puts characters in a place and watches them slowly fail. Pretty cool.

200 Items Or Less: Paranormal Activity (2009)

A few thoughts: The first in a series that would rapidly go downhill after the first sequel, this movie was a genre-shaking film that would shape the horror landscape for years to come. The premise and execution are simple, the characters are relatable and believable, and the presentation (found footage) was stripped down and worked perfectly for the subject matter. Not only is this an excellent horror movie with some truly terrifying moments, but it does this with subtlety and a whole ton of character development. The main relationship is dropped in a frying pan, and the resulting sizzle is both deeply saddening and dramatically effective. It starts out slow, methodically ramping up the tension as it progresses, giving our two leads plenty to work with and a whole ton to react to. Whether or not this movie had a positive impact on the genre is difficult to say, but its influence alone is enough to earn it some points. I consider it a modern horror classic, and a relentlessly creepy, intriguing, and effective little film.

Five Favorite Performances: Marlon Brando

I found a list of the 300 greatest actors of all time, so I've decided to go down that list and make top fives for all the actors I like -- or, at least, have seen enough things by to make into a top 5.

Their top pick was no surprise.

#1
Marlon Brando

200 Items Or Less: Night Of The Living Dead (1990)

A few thoughts: Remaking such a groundbreaking, genre defining classic is no easy task, so I can't hold it against Tom Savini for failing to live up to the material, but with this unnecessary adaptation come a few distinct improvements and character overhauls that work pretty well. While several characters remain basically unchanged, the main improvement comes with a total change for the female lead, here portrayed by Patricia Tallman. In the original, Barbara is one of the most useless, catatonic characters in horror history, but here she has a lot more to do, and her behavior is aggressive and self-reliant while still believably frazzled. Tony Todd does well, too, and Cooper is injected with an even more villainous streak, which sadly takes away from the urgency of defending the home against zombies. With Savini directing, it seemed like more emphasis would be placed on the gore and makeup effects, but that's not so. Not heartbreaking, but I wanted to see him nasty the film up a bit. It's solid, overall, but lacking in atmosphere and thrills.

200 Items Or Less: Hour Of The Wolf (1968)

A few thoughts: It's definitely a bit of a stretch to call this a horror movie, but when it comes to all of Bergman's filmography, this one fits the title the best, as the trippy nightmarish sequences near the end are pretty disturbing and very creepy. As could be expected of virtually any Bergman film, the visuals and moral/intellectual themes are prevalent in pretty much every scene, and with a cast led by Max Von Sydow and Liv Ullman, you have to know that the acting is top tier. There's an air of mystery surrounding a good deal of this story, which leads to some interesting revelations by the final act, even if a few of these things could be foreseen. What I want to talk about now is atmosphere and tone. Visually, this movie isn't far from his previous work, but instead of using the stark nihilism and close-ups for solely dramatic purposes, this one flips it and uses these aspects to not only investigate a broken relationship, but the living nighitmares that will be haunting them both. Unconventional, but effective and very well-constructed.

200 Items Or Less: Pet Sematary (1989)

A few thoughts: Quite simple one of the most baffling awful and still somehow popular horror movies of its time, this Stephen King story is full of dumb characters behaving almost aggressively stupid, filled with "scary" scenes I wouldn't expect to be shocking to a 9-year-old. And it's rated R. So it fits into that weird space where a lot of King's more mediocre films fit into, where the intended audience seems to be an imaginary number that's older than 16, but younger than 16 at the same time. Fred Gwynn is absolutely hysterical in this, delivering one of the most classic/awful horror performances in a popular movie. His accent, vocal inflections, and tendencies to mention "roads" and/or "burial grounds" in virtually every sentence make him something to behold. The other actors aren't any better, so st least he was memorable. The scenes with the little kid turned evil are laughable as well. It's just a confusingly off-target mess with no real positives apart from the unintentional humor that can be easily squeezed from it.

200 Items Or Less: Nosferatu The Vampyre (1979)

A few thoughts: The question that almost has to be asked whenever a remake of a classic comes around is whether or not it even should exist in the first place. Well, I don't think this is by any means a "necessary" film, but it is a very good one. Something is lost with the inclusion of sound, but that doesn't mean this movie doesn't still have lots of atmosphere. As a horror image/symbol, Max Schreck from the original can't be beat, but the breathy and almost twitchy performance by Klaus Kinski here comes close enough at emulating the original while still adding plenty in its own way to work well as both a recreation and a unique beast. There are definitely some slow patches here and there, but the way it strays from the source material and focuses on different aspects of the story, fleshing out the background, keeps it from ever feeling like a straight imitation. It's not as great as the original, but it didn't need to be. It tells its story well and the ending is not only unexpected, but unforgettably great.

200 Items Or Less: A Page Of Madness (1926)

A few thoughts: A bizarre and ultimately pointless look through the eyes of the mentally deranged, this early Japanese horror film suffers from a total lack of narrative focus while offering up surreal imagery. I can sometimes really enjoy films like this, that put little effort into the story, but in this case I feel it would have served them well to do more with the film than just flash distorted images of people dancing. I didn't get it. I didn't get the point at all. While there were a few creepy images, it never made me feel totally uncomfortable, and at roughly an hour without any text cards, I felt like I needed a break. A movie that short should not require a break. Still, even though I didn't get hardly anything out of this, I found myself intrigued and impressed by the speed of the editing, and the experimental nature of the cinematography and presentation. Pointless as it may be, this is still a very unique experience that I'm not likely to forget anytime soon. I didn't like it much, but it has flashes of genius to it.

200 Items Or Less: The Masque Of The Red Death (1964)

A few thoughts: Easily my pick for the best-looking Corman/Poe film adaptation, and quite possibly the best performance Price gave in the whole bunch as well. A dark and gloomy, yet bright and well-lit film, fully capturing the vibrancy of colors (red in particular, of course, really pops in this one) while still blending in a gloomier look when the story requires it. Watching Price play such a smug and overly evil man is always entertaining, and this Devil worshipping egotistical madman is definitely a shining role in his career. While many of the supporting characters take up a decent amount of screen time and never feel fully fleshed out, the entire look and atmosphere more than make up for any flaws or weak spots it maybe have in the script and charzcterization, with these scenes ultimately serving as padding and even an almost unnecessary but slightly interesting juxtaposition (I already hate myself for using that word) with the villainous castle dwellers/aristocrats. Underrated, beautiful, and very cool.

Top 10 David Warner performances

Who is David Warner, you might ask? Well, odds are you've seen his face or heard his voice before, so now you can see his face and we can settle that question.

Among the most overlooked British actors of the past 50 years, David Warner is mostly known for his villainous performances in horror and science fiction movies and TV. A very charming actor with a distinctive voice, Warner has been acting for over 50 years with few gaps in his filmography. So, because I enjoy making my top tens so much, I'll give this man his time in the spotlight. I'm sure he'd be thrilled. These are my top 10 favorite David Warner performances.