As previously mentioned, I have been aware of this odd fellow for several years now, but I still had only seen one or two of his movies fully until very recently. This was quite an adventure as a big fan of B-movies, and while I had probably already seen over half of the laugh-out-loud moments from his films before this, watching through them all start to finish was definitely something I needed to do. But now that I've seen them, what do I do with that information? Do I write inane meme reviews where I say crap like "omg what did I just see? I literally can't even, I got Breened lawl 10/10"? I don't think so. I'll leave that for the asshats on Letterboxd who think that's funny or has any sort of value. No, instead I'm going to do the thing that the title of this post says. Maybe this way anyone who happens upon this post can maybe have a better idea where to start when it comes to Breen as a whole. Some of his movies are definitely funnier than others, and some are a lot more boring than others. One in particular can pretty much be skipped entirely, in my humble opinion. So let's talk about that one now.
5. Pass Thru (2016)
The "plot": Neil Breen is an all-powerful space traveler who hates banks, corporations, the government, and all other manners of corruption and evil, and decides to use his powers to wipe them all out.
If you indiscriminately enjoy watching terrible movies just because you think it's fun to laugh at them being bad, I suppose this could be a recommendation, but if I were to introduce someone to the works of Neil Breen, this would absolutely be the last step in that adventure. I can say with some certainty, had this been the first movie of his that I'd seen, I doubt I would have bothered with the other 4. Apart from being incredibly slow, shot in a very ugly manner, and featuring some of the most obnoxious characters I've ever seen, this movie also lacks the charm of his other efforts. This is a dismal movie with godawful acting that's more grating than it is funny (Kathy Corpus, who shares the lead with Breen himself, is especially terrible). Everyone yells every line of dialogue throughout the entire movie, and it became very annoying very fast. The story is all over the place, and Breen's general attitude towards the usual corporations, banks, government, etc. seems even more militant and hostile than ever before. Many people before me have said it, but this feels like the kind of movie someone would release right before they snap. There's very little humor to be found here that can't also be found in any/all of his other movies, so the result is just a bitter, ugly, mean-spirited, and weirdly rambling piece of nonsense that I really can't recommend for bad movie night. It actively gave me a headache to watch. I grade movies I see on a contextual scale that takes into account many aspects, but mainly on how entertaining I find them to be. A few chuckles aside, I give it...
3/10 (4/10 if I'm feeling especially generous)
tl;dr - Too boring, annoying, and uninspired to stand out among Breen's previous films in any positive way.
4. I Am Here....Now (2009)
The "plot": Neil Breen is a robot alien space deity who has returned to Earth (which he created, of course) to stop unemployed Las Vegas women from becoming hookers, and to end government/corporate corruption.
The first Breen movie I ever saw, and while it's quite a bit better than Pass Thru, there's a lot of similarities between these two in all the wrong ways. The boredom factor is definitely there, Breen once again plays a super powerful space alien (this time, one who claims to have created all of mankind), and too much time is spent focusing on other characters who don't really add much of anything to the plot. The major difference here, apart from just being overall much more entertaining to watch than Pass Thru, is that this movie is almost a decade older than Pass Thru, and covered almost all of the same topics, rendering that movie completely pointless. To be fair, he's covered themes of corruption and all that crap in everything he's done, but still. There's an awkwardness to the characters and the dialogue in this movie that's much less abrasive here, and with characters behaving in such hilarious and irrational ways, watching them lose their office jobs and instantly take up prostitution is never not funny to me. There are a lot of wonderful moments that I wouldn't want to spoil for anyone, but there are definite dry spells that make this one a big of a chore to sit through if you aren't sufficiently inebriated. I've watched this one a couple of times now, and it still generates some big laughs from me, and I find it all too charming not to want to watch it again sometime in the future. So, for pure B-movie entertainment value, I'm gonna give it...
6/10
tl;dr - A bit slow, not enough time spent on Breen's character, but ultimately enjoyable.
3. Twisted Pair (2018)
The "plot": Neil Breen and Neil Breen are twins who are separated at a young age by either the government or aliens (I don't think even Breen knows which) and are given special powers. Except one of the Neil Breens is bad, so he grows a comedy beard and does drugs. But they both still take down corruption.
Usually, Breen movies are at their best the more he shows up on screen, so with two copies of him sometimes even sharing the screen together, this was bound to be a pretty wonderful experience. Also, after the steaming dud that was Pass Thru, it was nice to see him back on top as king of the bad movie. In a lot of ways, this was a totally different visual experience from his previous efforts, with all of the non-green screen shots being filmed at night. It gave the whole movie a whole new look, which I found refreshing after all of his past movies looked virtually the same -- mostly due to how much time is spent with characters standing outside with blue sky backgrounds, as well as dozens of shots of Breen wandering around in the Nevada desert. Also, the addition of Breen wearing a Mirror Spock evil twin beard is the kind of visual that's hard not to laugh at. This is the point where I have trouble determining whether or not he understands what his movies really are to people, with some aspects being just as nonsensical as before, but in some ways they've actually kind of improved. Regardless, this one was hard for me to put in third place, because it feels like it deserves to be higher. Ultimately, that's just a testament to the overall enjoyability of his movies. So, using the same contextual scale as before, I will have to give this one...
7/10 (maybe even an 8/10)
tl;dr - Breen is back, with another unusual experience that actually distinguishes itself from his other movies in all the right ways.
2. Fateful Findings (2013)
The "plot": Neil Breen is hit by a car, writes very successful novels, reconnects with an old flame, has superpowers, hacks into government secrets, and can not believe his friend committed suicide.
In a lot of ways, this is the best intro to Breen that anyone could ask for. With a plot full of cheesy melodrama, terrible/terrific dialogue, and a healthy dose of "the corporations and corruption must be stopped!", Fateful Findings would probably be the first thing I'd recommend to someone who's looking to get into his movies. With plenty of Breen-focused acting moments, this is a slightly less ego-driven movie than his others, but still includes scenes where Neil Breen uses otherworldly powers and uses his righteousness to exact revenge on the evil and corrupt. Not only this, but his usual mysticism is involved when it comes to his rekindled romance with a girl he loved when he was like 8, when they found a magic mushroom together that was actually a jewelry box that had rocks in it or something. It doesn't make much sense, but they covered it back up with twigs, so it's fine, don't worry about it. There are plenty of laptops in this one, probably his single most iconic acting moment, and overall silly and inept filmmaking throughout. It's really a great example of what people have come to love about Breen as a whole, and while it's not the one I find the most enjoyment out of, as mentioned before, I would still throw this one of his at someone first if they had an interest in getting into so-bad-it's-good movies. Not much else to say at this point, but that doesn't mean there isn't a lot to love. For what it is, my rating would have to be...
8/10
tl;dr - A great introduction to Breen, full of hilarious and nonsensical moments. Great example of so-bad-it's-good entertainment.
1. Double Down (2005)
The "plot": Neil Breen runs up and down mountains in the desert, eats tuna from the can, sleeps in (and sometimes under) his car, pines after his dead fiance, and is also the best and most amazing spy/assassin (who sometimes kills the wrong people by accident).
As the huge RedLetterMedia fan that I am, it's honestly hard for me to separate this movie from the equal parts hilarious (Rich Evans) and frustrating (Max Landis) experience of watching their discussion on this movie -- the discussion that ultimately led to Breen's current state of fame. But, instead of just having this be an RLM gush-fest, I will try to sum up just what makes this the most entertaining Breen film to me. First off, I will always have a certain fondness for debuts, even if they're not always that great -- there is an unfiltered charm to these early efforts that I find pretty wonderful. Secondly, there is no doubt in my mind that Breen was 100% legitimately attempting to make a serious thriller here. Some of his later movies (Twisted Pair and the awkward beard, for example) raise some questions in me as to his self-awareness, but this one is the real deal. Third, the ideas found in this movie are so genuinely baffling and idiosyncratic, I have a hard time believing anyone else in the world would be able to come up with this crap. Breen, from his very first feature, knew exactly what he wanted from his movies, and that template hasn't really changed. And finally, the jarring use of stock footage, nonsensical visuals and editing, rambling and idiotic dialogue, thousands of cans of tuna, Breen's hilarious jogs up and down hills, and complete lack of narrative cohesion all add up to make this an incredibly funny and unapologetically sincere film to experience. There is something incredibly funny about this movie, and I didn't hit the point of burn-out that I often get with this type of thing, as I found it entertaining from the beginning to the end. I was left pretty awestruck by it, and as we chronologically went through his movies over the past week, I constantly found myself thinking "Double Down is still better". It's a total failure in every conventional filmmaking sense, but a rousing success in terms of sheer entertainment and originality. I kinda love this movie, and I consider it the best thing Breen has done to this point -- and honestly, I doubt he'll ever be able to top it. So, I'm giving it...
9/10
tl;dr - It's Neil Breen's 'The Room'. A perfect storm of hilariously awful filmmaking choices and pure ego-driven storytelling.
Ranking
5. Pass Thru (2016)
4. I Am Here....Now (2009)
3. Twisted Pair (2018)
2. Fateful Findings (2013)
1. Double Down (2005)
In the end, even though I don't love Neil Breen as much as some people do (I must admit, I think a good deal of these people aren't too familiar with many so-bad-it's-good movies, so they're probably just easily excitable), he is a unique voice in B-movies, and a director/writer/actor/producer/superhacker that has left an immense mark on so-bad-it's-good movies. The impact he has made on this particular subgenre has spread far and wide, with even relatively casual movie fans sometimes knowing of his work. A total oddity in the independent landscape of cinema, Breen's uncompromising social/political views and recurring themes push him far beyond the Tommy Wiseau and James Nguyen types who make one funny bad movie and were never able to even come close to capturing that same magic again. He has reached, and perhaps even surpassed the status of Ed Wood, carving his place in the hall of fame of bad movies, bringing so much joy to so many people it's hard to even call them "bad" movies anymore. If I were to make a list of my 100 favorite directors, I think I'd be able to - unironically - find a spot for him on that list. Thanks for reading, and try to get ahold of his movies if you can. Well worth your time, assuming you're in the mood for some baffling nonsense.
1 comment:
Pass Thru is easily his Magnum Opus.
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