VideoGameLand: The Legend Of Zelda (NES, 1986)

As someone who has never really read video game reviews or posted about video games at all, they are still something that has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. And Zelda has always been a big part of my experience with them. In fact, the first game I ever recall playing (at least, at home on a console) was a Zelda game. So in a lot of ways it makes sense for me to do my first video game review of any kind on this series. Specifically the first one, released in 1986 -- which incidentally also brought us the first titles in both the Metroid and Castlevania serieses. What a year!

200 Items Or Less: Before I Hang (1940)

A few thoughts: It's almost comical to me how many times Boris Karloff has played a misunderstood scientist condemned for his wild views on preserving life, but here we are yet again. Normally I would complain about watching the same basic movies again and again, but with this coming in at just over 60 minutes, it never really feels like a waste of time. Karloff performing in his wheelhouse is something to behold, bringing a sort of calming grace to the role before slowly becoming more and more wild and menacing as the film progresses. Not only do we get Karloff in his prime, but one of relatively few appearances by Edward Van Sloan, who formerly played crucial supporting roles in Dracula, Frankenstein, and The Mummy. He, too, is quite good here. It's a very familiar story and it plays out pretty much exactly as you might expect, but if you go into this knowing what it is, it shouldn't be a problem or keep you from enjoying yourself. The pseudo-science, tight run time, and solid performances make it very easy to watch. Just don't expect an underrated gem.

200 Items Or Less: Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)

A few thoughts: After the colossal misfire that was Freddy's Dead, putting the series back in Wes Craven's hands was definitely the right move. Since this movie takes place in the real world, it doesn't follow the story of the others, which allows for a fresh start and gives Craven a chance to infuse the series with enough self-awareness to set it even further apart. Although there is still a certain amount of humor in this one, it hits the reset button on Freddy's character and brings him back to his more creepy roots, even changing up his makeup design slightly. The main star is Heather Langenkamp playing herself, of course, but it's Robert Englund who totally steals the show. Are you surprised by this? He pulls double duty as both himself and Freddy, giving him a lot to do here. Anyone who says he doesn't have any range should give this movie a try. While it's hard to compare this to most of the rest of the series, it is a definite step up from the previous couple. Also worth noting, this is a game-changing slasher movie that is essentially led to the Scream franchise. Good stuff.

200 Items Or Less - Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)

A few thoughts: If the title itself hadn't done it, the total failure of a movie that this is surely would have killed Freddy anyway. As a fairly loyal fan of the series, I enjoyed every movie up to this point, but it was evident by about 20 minutes in that this would be the one to break that streak. While it doesn't start off totally awful, the clownification of Freddy here reaches new heights and the result is not even remotely entertaining. He is flat-out annoying in this, and the fact he doesn't even really kill people in it just makes it all the worse. Poor Robert Englund, he tried so hard, the material just sucked. Desperate and annoying, even the production value seems to have slipped here. Attempts at humor fall flat, there is nothing creepy about it all, and the distractingly bad effects and hideous 3D work is baffling to say the least. What happened here? It shouldn't have been this bad and is a very unfortunate note to end the original series on. Oh well. At least New Nightmare was good, so the fun doesn't die here.

200 Items Or Less - A Nightmare On Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989)

A few thoughts: Five films into this series and I still enjoy them all. Granted, this movie does have its fair share of problems, but between the wonderful gothic set design, and the continued creativity of this kill scenes, I have to say I would still consider this a solid entry. Yes, the increasingly ludicrous treatment of Freddy does reach critical mass by film 6, I still don't find him too silly to be enjoyed here. The story is a bit of a catastrophe, but the resurrection of Freddy and further looks into his past make for solid character work, and give the film plenty of opportunity to get crazy with the visuals -- which as I briefly touched upon earlier, are pretty fantastic here. Though less clever and understated here, the dream sequences are amplified by high production value and great lighting, giving these scenes a completely different feel from the original. And that's just fine. The series evolved, giving each entry a chance to add to the story in different ways. This is by no means a masterpiece, but I still had plenty of fun.

Top 30 Favorite Sitcoms

Sitcoms are TV comedies that follow a cast of recurring characters generally in a familiar setting through various funny situations and scenarios. So that opens up the genre to encompass a LOT, which means some entries on this list might seem a bit off, but I still count them. But hey, this while thing is just my opinion anyway, so what does it matter? These are my favorite sitcoms of all-time.



30. The Office (UK) [2001 - 2003]

200 Items Or Less - A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

A few thoughts: A surprisingly fun and creative movie (why am I ever surprised by this series?) that amps up the one-liners, set pieces, crazy kills, and all the other fun stuff in the Elm Street movies. Also, it replaces Patricia Arquette with someone who is still weak, but doesn't make me irritated! What a wonderful movie. This movie also features one of the single greatest moments in the entire franchise, giving Freddy one hell of an entrance. I went into detail about this scene in my 5 favorite things post about it, but I still feel it deserves mentioning. I love watching this movie, and I'm totally not ashamed to admit this, as it is incredibly fun in pretty much every way. As far as Elm Street goes, this movie hits all the right notes, branching into absurd and visually stunning material at all the appropriate times. As is always the case, Robert Englund is awesome in this, but instead of being particularly creepy, this movie gives him tons of quips and a whole ton of goofy material that balances the two key components to his character: humor and creative killing. Sure, it's not a perfect movie, but it's a great Elm Street movie, and one of my favorites in the series.

200 Items Or Less - A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)

A few thoughts: One of the most weirdly underrated horror sequels I've ever seen, this first sequel to A Nightmare On Elm Street may break some of the rules of the franchise, but the creative direction it takes are more than intriguing enough to pardon it of these issues. While Freddy is still very much full of humor, this was one of the only movies where he fully works as a horror villain and not just a clown. Granted, I like him being somewhat clownish, but I do have my limits. Anyway, this movie is full of weird and hilarious scenes, TONS of (possibly) unintentional yet overt homosexuality, and some gruesome and totally awesome body horror aspects. There's a certain level of creepiness to this film, and the heroic lead performance by Mark Patton is almost shockingly good, rivalling even Robert Englund as the best performance in the series. Nah, who am I kidding? Englund owns this series. Still, this is one of my favorite movies in the series, and I feel it's massively underrated and pretty awesome in a lot of ways. It may be flawed, but its flaws work.

200 Items Or Less - A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

A few thoughts: This movie is a strange one for me, since it's generally considered the best sequel in the franchise and apart from the 6th, it's probably my least favorite of the original series. But does that mean I dislike it? Hell-to-the-no. This is the first movie that fully embraced the comedic aspects, giving Freddy a lot more funny material and creative kills, but also has plenty of creepy moments, particularly featuring that scary nun. Where the movie starts to lose me is during the dream sequences where the kids start to turn into the dream versions of themselves. One turns into a damn wizard, another into some mohawked punk rock chick, etc. It's pretty dumb in a funny sort of way, but ultimately the movie's biggest drawback comes in the form of Patricia Arquette, whose performance is so obnoxious and unconvincing it actually makes me mad seeing her on-screen. She is SO BAD in this movie, I can't stress that enough. Regardless, the return of Heather Langenkamp, the humor found within, and visual creativity still make this a fun sequel.

200 Items Or Less: The Plague Of The Zombies (1966)

A few thoughts: One of the last zombie movies to come out before George A. Romero changed the game forever. Placing extra emphasis on characters and less on the more gruesome aspects of the story, this is a slow-paced, methodical film that may not play as an all-out shocker, but actually succeeds in being creepy more than you might expect. The zombies in this movie are of the old school variety, brought to life by rituals and used as tools and servants, rather than being the aimless flesh hungry killers we see them as in movies now. The makeup on the living dead in this movie is pretty tremendous, making me wish they'd done more with them than what's seen in the relatively few scenes they're featured in. In a lot of ways, this is a very typical Hammer horror film, complete with wonderful sets, costume design, and a lot less blood and mayhem than your average genre fan might prefer. Andre Morell does a great job here, as usual, while the remainder of the cast are just solid. Apart from the limited thrills, I don't feel there's much to complain about here.

200 Items Or Less - Leprechaun 4: In Space (1996)

A few thoughts: After the little green demon's trip to Vegas in the last movie, it should be no surprise that they decided to fulfill the prophecy and send him to space for this 4th installment in the series, therefore solidifying their position as one of the most self-aware and idiotic horror franchises around. And while doing the space gimmick is not totally surprising, what is a surprise to me is how well this movie actually works. It's still dumb and bad in a lot of ways, but putting the Leprechaun in a space ship filled with an entirely different sort of victims and bizarre sci/fi cliches, they manage to separate this film from the rest and deal with the absurdity in some refreshing ways. The effects are mostly terrible, but one practical effects stands out as insanely creative and awesome, a human/spider/scorpion hybrid that really sold me on the latter half of the movie. Yes, this movie is dumb. But Warwick is still having a blast with the role, and the amount of humor found in the scenario comes pretty naturally. One of my favorites in the series.

200 Items Or Less - Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings (1994)

A few thoughts: A less-than-impressive sequel to a truly unique horror film. Where the original Pumpkinhead was filled with moral complexities, beautiful visuals, and great character development, this sequel is basically nothing more than a typical slasher film about a group of teens who accidentally bring forth the wrath of a supernatural monster. While the cinematography still does some interesting things, the standard color palette and only sporadic use of Dutch angles doesn't make it stand out as particularly interesting on a visual level. Without Lance Henriksen there to drive forward the emotions of the plot, the main focus here lies on a bunch of 24-year-olds (come on, you didn't think they'd cast *actual* teens, did you?) who are neither likable nor interesting. Luckily we do have the always wonderful Andrew Robinson as the main character's dad, but he is never given enough time to fully develop. He really should have been the main character, it would have helped this movie a lot. The creature looks fine, but isn't framed as well here. It's all just very mediocre.

200 Items Or Less: Leprechaun 3 (1995)

A few thoughts: Leprechaun in Vegas! Yeah, so in case you didn't know by now, this is when the series *really* stops kidding around with that whole "horror movie" thing. I know I said that about the second one, but this entire movie is just a bunch of ridiculous stupidity with zero horror at all. Well, apart from the over-the-top death scenes. Yet again, they give Warwick Davis about a thousand one-liners, and while some are just stupid limericks, others made me burst into laughter. Without his performance, these movies would be totally unwatchable, but his weird charm and obvious dedication is ridiculously infectious, making even the lousiest of material entertaining. As for the rest of the movie, this is the beginning of the super gimmicky films in the series, making tons of jokes that rely on the setting and the silliness of a Leprechaun going around killing people in that particular environment. He's a perfect horror villain to plug into places like this, and while the jokes often don't land, when they do it's pretty wonderful. Hammy, dumb, and very watchable.

200 Items Or Less: Leprechaun 2 (1994)

A few thoughts: While the first Leprechaun was by no means a serious horror movie, the sequel pretty much abandons all pretense and turns into a corny, violent comedy. No more shadows shrouding the Leprechaun's face, dramatic lighting, or jump-scares, this movie basically admits that the concept is silly and decides to have fun with it. And fun it is, in a disposable, stupid kind of way. Warwick Davis delivers a lot more funny lines and spends a lot of the time making really lame jokes and killing people in ridiculous and hilarious ways (a scene involving boobies and a lawnmower springs to mind), fully embracing the absurdity and following in the tradition of Freddy Krueger as a wise-cracking supernatural killer. This is not a series that could work if it took itself seriously, and luckily they knew that right away. Equally going in its favor, it never makes itself too dumb and self-depricating to be annoyingly desperate, like The Gingerdead Man sequels, finding a decent balance between idiotic and just serious enough. It's not great, but entertaining.

200 Items Or Less - Tetsuo: The Iron Man (1989)

A few thoughts: Well, this is not the first time I've watched this movie, and odds are it won't be my last. That isn't necessarily a compliment, because I still honestly don't know how I feel about it. It's grueling, ugly, violent, uncomfortable, and totally unique. It feels sort of like a twisted superhero orgy 'Eraserhead' as filmed by Jan Svankmajer. I enjoy the hyper-stylized stop-motion and fast-paced editing, as well as the gruesome body horror elements that really make your skin crawl. From a technical perspective, this movie is obviously very low budget and rough, but it's incredibly impressive how this whole thing was cobbled together. For just a micro-budgeted cyberpunk body horror movie that runs only 67 minutes, there is an awful lot of content packed in here. Sadly, story isn't really one of the things this movie has going for it. It's a unique and metallic body horror movie with awesome visuals, crazy effects, and a whole ton of WTF-ery. Maybe it's a great movie, I'm not sure yet, but it does for sure leave an impact.

200 Items Or Less: Stake Land (2010)

A few thoughts: A little too joyless and meandering for its own good, this movie plays out like a post-apocalyptic zombie vampire film that was directed by Terence Malick. This probably would have worked better, but with the weak intermittent narration used to fill in the viewers on information they could see for themselves, it comes off as really lame and too self-serving for the subject matter. "Show don't tell" is one of those phrases that gets thrown around a lot when it comes to film, but this movie feels the need to show and then tell you to remind you of what you just saw, in case you were too dumb to decipher what you just looked at. You only needed to show us, guys. This should have been less dramatic, and was instead an ultimately pointless movie, hitting all the same notes as superior vampire/zombie movies that knew when to have fun, or when to allow the audience to determine what might be going through the characters heads without outright explaining it to us. It has its moments, but never really stands on its own as anything particularly memorable or meaningful.

200 Items Or Less: Body Melt (1993)

A few thoughts: The '90s essentially marked the temporary death of the body horror genre, so it's nice to me to find movies made during that decade that weren't afraid to show off some '80s-style gore and goofiness. Sort of like an equally gooey blend of Larry Cohen's 'The Stuff' and the 1987 'Street Trash', this movie didn't offer up an entirely original experience, but still managed to be fun to watch just because of those crazy cheap effects. I can't really say I noticed the plot much, it was about people and this pill and whatever spy stuff was going on, but that's sort of not the point. Again, this is a movie you watch for the effects or you just don't watch it at all. It's one of those splatstick (a subgenre blend of gory, over-the-top horror and slapstick style comedy) movies that only .01% of the population would even "get", and while I can't say I love it, I would classify myself as part of that minority. It's an ugly, gross and somewhat listless movie, but it has fun visuals and was done on low enough of a budget for it to be impressive in its own way.

200 Items Or Less: Splinter (2008)

A few thoughts: For a movie that has this much going for it and only a couple real problems, it's a shame those few problems are so unavoidable, because I could've easily loved this movie with only a few adjustments. You see, the cinematography in this movie is so shaky and distracting, I not only couldn't tell what was happening a lot of the time, but found myself getting irritated by how much I wished I could see what was happening because it seemed like it would be cool to look at. From what I could see, the effects were pretty neat, and the action-heavy scenes were rally intense, but they were inherently disorienting. I enjoyed the characters and how the relationship between the couple and the convict gradually and naturally became less hostile as it progressed. The monster design and concept was really awesome, taking a sort of weird blend of zombie, body horror, natural horror, and almost torture porn and making it all work. The acting was good, the dialogue was good, the effects were good, etc. But that cinematography... oh well.