Tuesday, September 6, 2016
So Bad They're Good - Top 50 Movies: Part IV (#20 - 11)
20. Flash Gordon
Director: Mike Hodges
Genre(s): Action / Adventure / Sci-Fi
In 1980, the classic story of Flash Gordon was retold...this is that retelling. And man is it fun to watch. The set designs, costumes, special effects, and hammy acting all add to the charm of this very poorly-received sci-fi action movie that's rightfully earned a cult status years after its initial release.
Best Moment: Pretty much every special effect in the movie.
19. A Talking Cat!?!
Director: David DeCoteau
Failed kids movies are usually pretty painful to watch, and believe me when I say this one can get pretty painful. But when you peel back the layers of pain, you just might find yourself laughing about as hard as you ever have before. Terrible cat-talking animation, a hilariously disinterested Eric Roberts, obnoxious musical score, terrible writing... I don't even need to get into it, but it's all hilariously inept.
Best Moment: A (probably) drunk Eric Roberts as the cat.
18. Ben & Arthur
Director: Sam Mraovich
Genre(s): Drama / Romance / Thriller
Everyone has deemed this as basically The Room only gay. This is essentially accurate. If you like poor production quality and terrible writing, acting, and directing, this is the perfect hilariously awful movie for you. Not for people who can't tolerate really, really bad filmmaking.
Best Moment: The priest blaspheming hilariously, or the low-lit "erotic"(?) dancing audition scene.
17. Samurai Cop
Director: Amir Shervan
Genre(s): Action / Thriller
There was a point in time when movies with cops, drug dealers, ninjas, and lots of explosions were fairly common (oh, you glorious '80s), and this movie feels like the culmination of this trend. And since it came out, nothing has really been able to top it. Sure, there isn't a lot of samurai stuff here, and the main guy is basically a softcore porn actor, but c'mon. Could you really expect anything different? This movie is wonderful.
Director: Luigi Cozzi
Genre(s): Action / Adventure / Fantasy
Alright, here is the last Cannon/Golan-Globus movie on my list. Hercules fights a bear, travels through space, and is constantly covered in grease. When it comes to lousy '80s special effects, this one kind of takes the cake. Cannon were notoriously cheap in their productions, and this one is about as cheap as they get. It's just funny to watch how flat it falls on its face, but it still kind of impresses me that they even tried as much as they did.
Best Moment: Da bear.
Director: Jordan Downey
Genre(s): Horror / Comedy
Here's one that isn't a failure, but actually a really hilarious parody of evil killer [blank] movies. I feel a lot of people who hate this one totally missed the point, and I also kind of feel like Jordan Downey himself didn't realize how wonderfully satiric it was, considering how totally unwatchable and off-point the sequel was. But that doesn't take away from the hilarity of this movie.
Best Moment: The turkey wears a human mask...the perfect disguise.
14. Miami Connection
Director: Woo-Sang Park
And back to the cheesy '80s ninja action drug dealer movies. A rock band that fight crime, and I feel like I can pretty much stop typing up that description now. If you enjoy this type of movie, you know exactly what this is. It's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen, and every time that stupid opening song gets stuck in my head I laugh for 20 minutes straight.
Best Moment: Friends forever we'll be togeeether, we're on top cuz we play to weeeiiin!
13. Ninja Terminator
Director: Godfrey Ho
I have still only seen a few Godfrey Ho movies, but this one is easily the champion. Packed with awesome fight scenes that feature totally stupid moments, this is one of those awesome poorly-dubbed movies that manage to make every line of dialogue funny. This is basically nonstop fight scenes, bad dubbing, and funny costumes and makeup.
Best Moment: A guy asks for a smoke before being killed, and the response he gets is just perfect.
12. Batman: The Movie
Director: Leslie H. Martinson
Genre(s): Action / Comedy
Okay, I can't even call this a bad movie at all, but I still find it funny in many ways that I don't think are intended or considered "normal". The show was fun to watch, but this movie has everything that the show had only multiplied by 10. It's silly, over-the-top, and pretty much the campiest movie ever made. In fact, it's probably my favorite Batman movie ever.
Best Moment: It's got to be the shark scene.
11. Bad Taste
Director: Peter Jackson
Genre(s): Sci-Fi / Horror / Comedy
Peter Jackson's first movie, and a far-cry from the CG epics he would eventually come to direct. I really miss this Peter Jackson. This is a ridiculous, gory, idiotic, and perfect movie. What he did here was so fun and shameless, it's impossible for me not to love it. People don't make movies like this anymore, it just doesn't happen. And that makes me very sad.
Best Moment: That dude scooping his brains up and stuffing them back in his skull...or the aliens with the super spiky butts that rip through their pants.